‼️A frenemy promises something that it never really delivers, true friendship. Because a frenemy relationship is typically one-sided and not, a real friendship at all. In fact, it’s a toxic relationship that usually develops over time, typically after the toxic person was first, a trusted friend.
⁉️😳What-the-what?! Yes, Queen! 👸🏻
Julia’s Story:
“Anytime something came between us, she’d make me feel like I was over-sensitive and blowing things out of proportion. She wasn’t accountable for anything. If she had a problem, she’d instantly call and want to share it with me. If I wanted to tell her about something I was going through, she never had time to listen. I know I wasn’t a priority to her.”
The term frenemy is defined as, “an oxymoron and a portmanteau of a ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’ and refers to ‘a person with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.’ It’s a person who combines the characteristics of a friend and an enemy.’” The term frequently addresses competitive friendships but can apply to other personal or working relationships.
A one-sided frenemy relationship is unequal. It’s an enemy who masquerades as your friend. She’ll only reach out to you when she needs help or a favor. She’s continuously in crisis mode and is one of those people where everything always goes wrong. She repeatedly tells you about her problems in great detail and loves the attention she gets, but rarely seems to take advice that could help things improve. When you need a friend, however, she’s nowhere to be found. She doesn’t have a true interest in what’s going on with you or your life. It’s a one-sided relationship, that will wear down your self-esteem and make you doubt yourself. If you let it, she will suck you dry.
The frenemy persona is vast and wide. It’s a phenomenon that’s prevalent in everyday relationships. Most women, in some form or another, have experienced a frenemy in their lives. It’s especially detrimental when you deal with a frenemy at work! Because ‘she’ can be one your most stressful colleagues to interact with. If you’re involved with one, I’m sure you can agree with me that this type of relationship can have serious consequences.
⁉️Are you in a one-sided friendship? Are you dealing with a frenemy, instead of a true friend? Here are some signs to look out for, to know if you are:
You’re always there for her, but she’s never around when you need her.
She doesn’t respect you and puts you down in front of other people.
You feel like you’re ‘walking on eggshells’ around her and are emotionally exhausted after spending time with her.
The friendship is only convenient for her. You only always do what she wants and when.
You’re second choice. If another friend is around – she won’t give you the time of day.
You’re always the one initiating contact – she never reaches out first.
She never remembers what you share with her because she’s never really listening what you have to say.
Evaluate if the relationship is important to you, really focusing in on ‘why’.
Find a safe place to talk – don’t point blame but honestly share how you feel.
Provide tangible examples of why and how, you’ve been hurt.
If she’s truly apologetic and open to changing her behavior, give it another try.
If she get defensive – assess if this ‘friendship’ is truly worth it to you. If not Queen, 👸🏻 walk on.
⁉️Have you ever been on the receiving end of a frenemy? If so, how did you deal with it? Drop me a line, I’d love to know!
You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️
P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how to deal with female frenemies, follow me on LinkedIn! Stay tuned for my blog out next week about finding your true sisterhood with a BFF at work.
I say that it’s time to be different. It’s time to talk about what female rivalry is, to know how to break it down one action at a time.
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⁉️Interested in learning how ‘female rivalry’ impacts the workplace? 🎉DOWNLOAD my FREE .pdf guide, ‘5 Reasons WHY Good Women Walk’ to learn more!
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