Has the green-eyed monster of comparison ever consumed you? You know what I’m talking about, right? Thoughts like,
“Wow. She’s going on a trip. I wish I could travel as much as she does. Why does she always get to go to such cool places and I never do?”
“She always meets and dates such amazing men! No one will ever look at me the way that they look at her.”
“She seems to have it all together, a great family, a fantastic job, thriving kids... And here I am, barely staying afloat/ living month to month.”
Sound familiar?
Well, let me tell you sister, I’ve been on both sides of this-ugly equation and whether you project or receive, it feels the same. When that green-eyed monster strikes be prepared for an oozy-queasy-gross feeling to ravage your body. When these thoughts come to town, you have to check yourself before you wreak yourself, because that’s exactly what happens.
The green-eyed monster of comparison is truly, the thief of joy. It doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and 💡lightbulb moment, it doesn’t make ‘her’ feel good either. (And yes, chances are she is very aware of your envy). If you’re constantly looking to others about what they have, where they are, or what they’re doing -- for acceptance about yourself -- it will quickly, in a soul sucking way, drain the energy right out of you.
You’ll feel less than, not up to par, unworthy. There will always something to work on because nothing you do, will ever be good enough for the view you hold of yourself.
Consciously or not, we often look to our friends, mother, sisters, and colleagues for validation about ourselves. We search for sameness’s and differences. We look for affirmation that we are on track, which makes it very difficult to pull apart from the pack and see ourselves as an individual with our own unique objectives.
And by the way, does the way she’s living her life mean that it’s the right way for you to live yours? No. If everyone did the absolute same thing at the same time, measured themselves against the same criteria, were more alike than different.... Where would that leave us? We’d be robots, not human.
Sophie Shared:
“I had an amazing college roommate, but I always felt ‘less than’ around her. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough. I just wasn’t enough at all. It wasn’t a result of something she’d said or done to me. It was me and my own insecurities. She was so nice and it makes me so sad... my behavior pushed her away and I ended up ruining a really cool friendship. I’m ashamed of how I acted. All because I thought I wasn’t good enough, and that I needed to compare myself to her.”
The act of comparison adds to other external pressures that women continually face, like judgement and not being supportive of each other. If you’re always comparing yourself to other women, at some point, you’ll start to put yourself on a scale.
If she’s failing... are you doing better?
If you’re ahead of her... does that make her less?
Comparison seeps into competition, which seeps into a ‘me mode’ mentality, which eliminates the chance for connection, allyship and positive, fulfilling relationships. And then what? Everything is off-limits because it’s each woman for her own. So what does all of this mean? We need to do some soul-searching and be uber conscious of our behaviors in order to facilitate positive change.
Be grateful
Write down the things you’re happy for
Make a list of your strengths
It’s important to be yourself, no matter what. Remember! Confidence has no competition, and comparison destroys personality. YOU are unique! You need to continue to do things how they are meant to be done, for YOU, because you’re the best, at being the best YOU. And just remember this.... women who are happy in their own skin, are happy for and with, other women. And ultimately, that is how we continue to build a stronger #sisterhood.
You already are. It’s time TO BE.♥️
P.S. Stayed tuned for my next blog out next month about, “Boundaries.”
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