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When The Workplace Turns Toxic: How To Survive Female Bullying At Work



🥹From Bestie to Backstabber: When A Female Friendship Turns Fierce.

"She was one of Natalie’s closest friends. Close enough that they’d shared holidays and family gatherings. So when her friend was job hunting, Natalie went to bat for her—helped her get hired on her own team, trained her, and rooted for her success. It was the kind of ride-or-die friendship women dream of.

But just a few months after they started working together, everything shifted. Her friend stopped talking to her. She became cold and dismissive in meetings. Then came the passive-aggressive jabs, undercutting comments, and outright hostility. It was so bad that other people on their team noticed it. Natalie tried to talk to her friend, but got nowhere. Confused and hurt, she brought it up to their female manager—only to find out that her so-called friend had been telling lies about her for months... Spinning stories. Planting doubts. Whispering poison. ☠️

Even worse? Their female manager—now good friends with the woman outside of work—dismissed Natalie’s concern with a single sentence, “Maybe you just thought you two were friends. But really, you weren’t.”"

Cue the sting.🐝

Mean Girls Grow Up—And They Don’t Always Wear Pink. We often think ‘mean girl' behavior ends in high school hallways and cafeteria cliques. But the truth is: mean girls grow up. They graduate into boardrooms, book clubs, mom circles, and neighborhood groups. The tactics may be more subtle—but the pain is just as real.

This behavior, known as female relational aggression—is a pattern of indirect, emotional manipulation that damages relationships, reputations, and self-worth. It’s not yelling or fighting. It’s exclusion, gossip, silent treatment, sabotage, passive-aggressive digs, and cold dismissal. It’s the “you can’t sit with us” energy—dressed in Lululemon, sipping a vanilla latte.

Why It Hurts So Much. Relational aggression cuts deep because it attacks our sense of belonging. It makes us question our worth, instincts, and even our sanity. Many women who experience it feel isolated, confused, and betrayed—especially, when the aggressor was once a friend.

This kind of pain doesn’t just bruise your ego—it impacts your career, confidence, and willingness to trust again. So much so, that many women whom I’ve talked to about this say they don’t have female friends, and that they’ll never work for another woman or be on an all-female team, ever again. 😩This is tragic. Which is why it’s so important that we absolutely, must talk about this toxic behavior, to change it.

“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” -Madeleine Albright

No, You're Not Being "Too Sensitive." If you've ever walked away from a conversation thinking, ‘Did that really just happen?’ or ‘Maybe it's just me…’, you're not alone. Female relational aggression is designed to be invisible to everyone except the person it's aimed at. That’s what makes it so damaging—and so easy for others to ignore or dismiss. But make no mistake: It’s real, widespread, and it deserves to be named, understood, and dismantled.

Let’s Stop the Cycle. In a world that already stacks the deck against women, the last thing we need is to turn on each other. We need more collaboration, not competition. More honesty, less hidden hostility. More sisterhood, less sabotage.

And that’s exactly why I wrote my new eBook: 👉 “Mean Girls Suck: A Survival Guide to Relational Female Aggression.” The 50 page workbook offers tips and interactive reflection for how to survive and conquer awful, mean girl behaviors. It dives into:

  • What the behavior is

  • How it makes you feel

  • How to overcome it


⁉️Click here to grab your copy of 👉 “Mean Girls Suck: A Survival Guide to Relational Female Aggression.”👈🏼


Your Story Matters.If Natalie’s story hit close to home, know this: You’re not alone. You’re also, not powerless. We are stronger together and together, we can call out this ugly behavior that thrives in silence, address it head on, and learn to empower each other, instead of tear down.

🔥I do not chase. I attract. 🔥I do not bow. I rise.

🔥I do not whisper. I roar. 

 

Stay tuned for my next update out in two weeks.

♥️Today I will be fearless. Today I am grateful.

 

P.S. Are you trying to better understand and improve the female dynamics on your team, follow me on LinkedIn to learn more!

 


When the Workplace Turns Toxic: How To Survive Female Bullying At Work, Questions to Consider:

  1. Have you ever experienced subtle but persistent hostility from another woman at work—such as exclusion, gossip, or passive-aggressive comments? If so, how did it affect your confidence, performance, or trust in others?

  2. Do you ever second-guess your feelings or tell yourself you’re “overreacting” when something feels off in a female friendship or coworker dynamic? What would change if you trusted your gut more?

  3. When witnessing relational aggression at work, do you feel empowered to speak up—or do you stay silent to avoid becoming a target? What would it take for your workplace culture to feel safer?

  4. Have you ever downplayed your success, voice, or leadership to avoid triggering another woman’s competitive or toxic behavior? What message does that send to yourself—and to other women?

  5. Are you unconsciously participating in relational aggression—perhaps through gossip, exclusion, or silent judgment? What small shift could you make to model healthier female relationships at work?





 
 
 

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